Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Two Shall Become One

I found another awesome blog and some more great devotionals and testimonies that gave me an idea of sharing the 'Two shall become One Tuesdays'. Maybe it was sparked by Valentine's day.... who knows. Our husbands deserve a place of honor and our marriages should be a top priority in our daily focus. Mine has always been far from perfect and at times it seems as if it was destroyed beyond repair.

My husband and I have had many difficult times and in the last couple of years through much prayer and letting God have control of our lives it has become the biggest blessing ever. My husband has always said maybe our lives can become a testimony to others, to know that nothing is impossible with God. Because believe me, there were days that we were both impossible! Look forward every Tuesday to peaking inside our lives, our marriage, our imperfections, our faith in a marriage that has been restored. I hope it will bless you.

My tiny disclaimer here.... I know that some women will say these things are easier said than done, or your husband is a better man than mine. It takes a Godly man in a relationship to honor and love his wife as Christ loves the church, to make a marriage complete and able to fulfill it's good work. But even if your man isn't 'there' yet, that doesn't mean you can't be the woman God desires for you to be and a Godly wife. We must work on ourselves and the change we need to see in us first. This is my story. This is OUR story....

Think of all the things you have done to bring one another down, to hurt one another (whether it was intentional or accidental). Is it easy for you to forgive? Or is it difficult to overlook your disappointment or anger and say to your husband (or wife) that you forgive them for....
  • overlooking a holiday or special moment you wanted recognized
  • for spending time with their friends rather than with you
  • working too much and leaving you feeling neglected
  • yelling at you for something you had no control over
  • leaving you alone
  • having an affair (physically or emotionally)
Now think of all the ways that we have hurt or disappointed God. How easy is it for Him to forgive us? He gave His son Jesus Christ for our forgiveness. It's there for the taking if we just ask. But consider your spouse. MUST we ask forgiveness? Does Jesus love us unconditionally? Through all our sin and disappointment He loves us. If our marriages are to be strong and an example to our children and to others we must learn to put Christ first and to love and respect our spouse. As we show respect to our husbands, they are to love us as Christ loves the church.

We must learn to forgive. As God forgives us of our sins. Some say forgive and forget. Others say I can forgive--it's the forgetting part that's hard. I challenge you to let go and let God have control of your anger and resentment toward your situation. At one point our lives were so torn apart that I knew NOTHING could fix it. Nothing could be done. We had hurt one another beyond repair. For years. I prayed for our lives to be changed, I prayed for my husband to love me more, to pay attention more. I prayed for it all to be fixed. What I failed to pray for was God's will in our situation, for God to open my eyes to the things I was failing at.

One night as I was crying myself to sleep again--desperate, broken, and alone it finally dawned on me. I cried out to my Lord. Literally. Whatever your will is for our lives, please, PLEASE make it known to me. I'll listen, I promise. If I'm to go home and somehow learn to fix what we've done, or if I'm supposed to move ahead alone, raising my children as a single mother--show me how. Guide my steps. I'm letting go. Just lead me. Do you see me letting go God? I'm sincere this time. Please.....

I remember praying and talking to God until I fell asleep. I can't even tell you the last thoughts that went through my mind or the last question I may have ask Him. But I fell asleep in my Saviors arms and woke up brand new.

I wanted to run home! To run to my husband and throw my arms around him and tell him I loved him. I wanted to be 15 again and have that feeling that he was the greatest man on earth and adore him, and brag about him. This required me admitting I might have been wrong in some of my own actions. But God had shown me just what I ask for.

I drove to our house and spent the next 4 hours discussing our marriage. The reasons why it should be saved, the reasons we both deserved better. Admitting my own failures as a wife. Wanna know the even greater part? My husband wasn't waiting with anger, or 'what now' defensiveness. He was there with open arms. He agreed wholeheartedly. We had the same vision and desires for our marriage. God had opened his heart to welcome me. When just the day before I thought I had no use for this man. God reminded me of His will for our lives... together. God showed us how to forgive one another.

The last two plus years since that day have been the best years of our marriage. We may still have our differences but it's how we handle those times that has become the change. How we treat one another, how we show respect to one another. How we honor one another. God can make all the difference in your lives if you let Him have control. I challenge you to let go! Watch how quickly and miraculously He works in you.

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.

--Proverbs 31:10


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