Do you remember where you were? What you were doing? How you felt? I'd heard those questions ask about so many other historic milestones in our country's past.... Kennedy's assassination, the explosion of the space shuttle, even Elvis's death. After 9/11 I knew what those feelings and questions represented. A part of my life has seen history in the making. A moment that will forever be printed in school textbooks and relived on the History channel.
I remember being at work and hearing the interruption in the radio music. Wondering if it was just some political garbage I didn't want to listen to and how put off I felt at first thinking they were cutting into my tunes! ;) I like to sing while I'm working. And then as it became more and more urgent and gripping I took notice. We all took notice. What seemed like it was literally thousands of miles away could be a threat to me. To my family. To my friends. I worked at a senior citizen handicapped housing complex. Chris and I snuck away to Louise's apartment to watch the news broadcast with her. We sat there for what seemed like hours which was just a few short minutes watching the buildings fall, the replay of the crashes. It was like someone was starting to choke the life out of me and for once I felt like I wasn't safe. I've never felt that way in my life. Never really been scared of anything. And for the first time ever.... I was afraid. I wanted to grab my kids from school and run home and pray. I wanted my husband home from work. Seeing the hundreds of people wandering and running aimlessly I had to remind myself I was 'safe'. I wasn't alone, I wasn't wondering where my husband was or if he was alive. Yet that urgency remained. I remember thinking, this is what people are talking about when they say "who would want to bring a child into the world like this?" I remember thinking that same thought when my third child was born only two short years later.
Thoughts race through your mind that just because you live 'in the middle of nowhere' as we frequently refer to our little corner of the world in Northwest Missouri... I wasn't so 'hidden' after all. What if it just continued to spread our direction, like those movies you see....the horror and grief rippling out from the east coast to the west. When was it going to reach us? What would we do? A thousand thoughts race through your mind, bomb shelters from the 50's, stockpiling food in the cellar, living out your days alone in your home with just your family and wondering where everyone else has gone. The story doesn't end that way (thankfully), but the thoughts that race through your mind at a time like that are crazy. I also remember how safe and secure I felt that night when I did have my children home from school and my husband there with us. Our family was together that night, safe, and alive. We explained to our kids the new 'mast plan' if something happened that close to home. Where to go, what to do. And we quizzed them to make sure they understood the rules. I never thought I'd have to teach my children something like that. This many years later, I don't even remember the plan. I chose to leave my kids in school that day. I'm sure they were watching news feeds in the classrooms just like we were when the space shuttle exploded. I remember it vividly. I'm sure they remember 9/11 much the same.
I also remember thinking to myself I'll never fly again. NEVER. Period. September 11, 2001 was 8 years ago. Wow, that seems hard to fathom. Just this past summer, only a few short months ago was the first time I've flown again. I took a Mission Trip to Haiti. Some of those same fears came back before we boarded that first flight. They were quickly put to rest, but it was a strange feeling that something so long ago can have such a profound effect all these years later.
After having that third baby in 2003 I remember wanting more than ever to stay home with him and share and watch everything he did. I didn't have that luxury with the two oldest children like I wanted. As luck would have it, before he turned two that dream came true. I think everyone looked at things differently after 9/11. We stopped taking little things for granted (for awhile), we loved more, we laughed more, we risked more. Somehow as time passes we fall back into that normalcy and stop taking notice of the little things again. Why? Everyday is a blessing. Everyday is a gift. Treasure it, revel in it. Pray for those that need to realize life is short. Give your Life to the Lord, give your time to your family.
How do you remember 9/11?
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