Wednesday, October 21, 2009

[ Bewildered ]

be♦wil♦der–verb (used with object)
to confuse or puzzle completely; perplex: These shifting attitudes bewilder me.

1675–85; be- + wilder (v.)

mystify, nonplus, confuse, daze, confound, stagger, muddle.

Yep, that's me. Lately I'm feeling bewildered, lost in a sense. My heart is overflowing with things I'm so passionate about and things I want to do and accomplish. Things I want people to take notice of. Things I want to share with others and lead them in a positive direction. And yet I'm bewildered. Discouraged by lack of enthusiasm by others, disappointed in stepping out in faith reaching for others to encourage them and having them look at me like I have two heads. Not only two heads, but a third eye on each.

I sometimes feel lost and alone, like I'm on this amazing journey that no one understands or cares to be a part of. Only, I'm not completely alone. My Lord is there with me. It's the feeling of Him being the only one with me that puzzles me.

Puzzled when I encounter others that seem confused by simple scripture. Totally blown away by reaching out to someone that I thought wanted to experience the dream they expressed, offering to take their hand and go along only to feel like I have the plague and they can't run away from me fast enough. Like I'm talking to rocks on occasion..... the lights seem to be on, but nobody's home. Or better yet.... The LIGHT is on, but no one wants to embrace it and let it shine from within them, spilling out to blanket others.

Feelings of being in a place and time that I don't enjoy being there anymore. Step out with me! Step up! Go, DO..... do something to please your God. To please HIM alone, not ourselves, not questioning His lead, not faltering in your own faith. I'm praying.... praying for guidance, praying for His will, praying for direction and to find people to take along this journey with me.

I know most of things makes absolutely no sense to some, to others it may hit home so true and strong you thought you were alone in your feelings. Today, I pray there are more people that don't have a clue what I'm talking about than not. Pray for our families, pray for our church families, pray for Christians.