Today is October 15th and it is nationally recognized and Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I know this because I fall into that category. There's hardly a day that goes by that somewhere in my mind I'm not aware of the baby we lost. Some days I'm very aware, and others God blesses me with so many things it gets pushed to the back of my mind.
I used to have a magnet like this on my car.... and somehow along the way it has blown away. I need to replace it. Most rememberance ribbons are a certain color and we're aware of what they stand for. Pink is breast cancer, Red is aids awareness, Yellow is supporting our military troops. But most people don't know what the pink white and blue ribbon is for.
Some of you reading this may have experienced a loss of a child, weather through pregnancy and miscarriage, stillbirth or a child with health issues. Today I think of you. Those fortunate enough not to have experienced the loss of a child are truly blessed in ways you don't understand. Always remember that no matter what age or stage a person loses a child it's a terrible process and everyone grieves differently.
We lost a child during pregnancy and regardless of weather we 'knew' the child, got to hold them, touch them, smell them or hear them cry....they were a real part of our family. They held hopes and dreams of years to come. Watching them grow and nurturing them just as we have our other children. They are real. She was real. I had another daughter. She lives with Jesus now and someday I will see her, I will touch her, I will smell her wonderful scent. She is real to me, real to our family. September 24, 2002 (ironically enough my birthday) is the day I lost her. Today I remember her and I think of other families who suffer a loss.
If you get nothing else from this post than one thing I would want it to be this.... When someone is grieving all you need to do is say you are sorry they are hurting, you are sorry for the loss of their child. Most of us stumble for just the right words to say, but truly there are none. There are plenty of wrong things to say....such as "it was meant to be", "something must have been wrong with 'it' and this was God's way of fixing it", "you didn't need anymore children anyway, look at the x-number you have now and be blessed with them". There are so many other things that can be taken the wrong way when someone is grieving. And trust me, it wasn't God's way of fixing anything, it wasn't that a child wasn't meant to be. God doesn't make mistakes, but we do have to experience loss and grief and He can change your heart and allow you to grow from the experience. Losing our child taught us many things.
So, if you know someone today that has lost a child, had a miscarriage or stillbirth. Take the time to let them know.... you remember. You were thinking of them today. You're there for them if it's a recent loss, or if it's been some time and healing has begun for them just let them know you remember their baby and you were just thinking about them today and wanted them to know that. Pray for the healing in their hearts. God will bless their heart and yours for the gesture. I promise. :)
For more information or resources and support if you have suffered a loss go to Remembering Our Babies. I remember today, but I smile now when I remember. The grieving has past and I look forward to meeting my daughter someday. :) Have a blessed day!